I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
