i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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