bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I've blown a few things in my day
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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