You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
