90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
