so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I fill condoms, not promises.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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