haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
