I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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