When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
