SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
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