he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
