i just wanna soil my oats bro
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
