If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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