i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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