cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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