i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize