so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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