you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
