It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
