Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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