i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
