Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
