waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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