What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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