you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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