my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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