She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
