We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
