I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
