i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
