Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize