i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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