but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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