We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
