what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
