so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
