Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
