any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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