I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
