We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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