smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize