I CAN MOONWALK!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
