I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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