Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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