I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
