How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
