you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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