we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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