whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
