i barfeds in our rink
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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