I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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