was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
