i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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