im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
