Life is so much better after having sex.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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