yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
