Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
did i walk over a car last night?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
