I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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