also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
