Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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