some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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